.welcome.to.hell.--.home.of.satan

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 23:29:12 GMT

so i decided it was time. thats right kiddies. i made a new livejournal, for the sole purpose of not having my username be my actual name. (i made my livejournal a looong time ago, i think it was actually the year 2000, and was computer retarded at the time)
so long to this livejournal and hello to this one, which you allllll better add.
__iamthe_walrus

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 17:59:39 GMT

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and finds a young couple in
bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the woman
to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up
and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there the husband tells his wife:" Listen, this
guys an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of

time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed
your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is
probably very dangerous. If he gets angry he'll kill us. Be strong honey,
I love you."
To which the wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too".

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?”

A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?" was his response.

Another couple of weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He just looked at her and said "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.

One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?"

She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything." "Wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband. "No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him" she said.

"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband. "Cake? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 14:56:51 GMT

i should be studying. but instead i shall write in livejournal because it seems like the right thing to do. plus its a good distraction.
so i have two tests on thursday and one on monday. but on friday megs [and possibly britty] {and im trying to call caitlin as we speak} are coming to mount pleasant. and as i said before, it will be a time. if you wanna com just holla at me. hahahahaha.
im gaining weight like you people wouldn't believe. its mad. absolutely mad.

derrick won $26.50 at the casino last night. so we went to the porn shop and got penis gummies.

saturday= the return to the homestead. i am so excited.
i've been listening to a lot of coutry music lately. it has to be this town.

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 01:37:47 GMT

i fucking hate spreadsheets and i fucking hate bar charts and i fucking hate my bastard teacher for not e-mailing me back about the questions i had and i fucking hate CMU for not letting me drop my fucking class. not yet anyways.
not to mention i pulled a muscle in the back of my leg bowling today [but that was still a good time.]

and now im just pissed.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 14:19:03 GMT

my mommys coming to see me!!! sooooo excited. plus my brothers working in alma (10 minutes south of here) so he might come chill with us too.
i get to go home this weekend, and im way stoked about it. megs and i may also be spending friday evening in mount pleasant (still trying to work out the details), and that would be a time.
.sunrise.on.the.way.home.
i saw castaway for the first time last night. good movie. i was shocked when i saw tom hanks in a loin cloth and i actually liked it.
alright im out.

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 04:15:24 GMT

stop spilling your pizza juice man.
"even if hes a big dumb idiot, i love him."

haha hah and the saga continues

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 15:34:49 GMT

so we downloaded like, 11 songs with the word fuck in them, and theres pink writing all over my hand, and a pretty random collage on the back of my door.
i dont even know.
last night was the shit.
we went bowling and i got a 117 and a 102... i rock.

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 03:41:05 GMT

drunk bowlin+the big lebowski+the retards+the fat chicks+the shots+peach falling down on the lane+breaking the seal+chicken nuggets= boozeday wednesday....??????

h m. tonight was good.;

that is sooo cute. haha.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 21:49:55 GMT

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	In love
Your meeting was by	Fate
They are your	Strength
You are their	Shining star
Your love will	Be your strength

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 18:10:17 GMT

i'm on the verge.
i miss home [the smell of home], my matress, my mom, caitlin, mochas [before being employed there, and also before the "unfortunate" fire accident], big boy, floyd,[i know its strange], knowing where exactly im going, homecooked meals [and dinner convesations with the right people], being ADD with my mom, driving to calm myself down, knowing which roads i can speed on, the stability, being single [but i love being taken], being young enough to use it as an excuse, faking sick, watching casey trample over people, buying clothes [and not feeling really guilty], parking sideways in the driveway, fisher park, soccer fields, speedway [way cheaper cigarettes and way friendlier faces], the magenta carpet in my room, playing the piano, playing the guitar, I-96 & M-5 [not haggerty], familiar faces, leo's coney island [and their chilli cheese fries], good slurrpy selection, tarrah scheets, wonderland lanes, smoking inside, the back porch, groceries, late mornings, the MJR theme song [im not gonna lie, it really is more fun], not walking anywhere, two bathrooms, .s.p.a.c.e., going 64+ down benstein [having obtainable goals], the lakes, 12 oaks, jerry springer at 1:35, wasting time, good advice [derricks pretty good at it though], the "dent" in caitlins car, the kitchen table, and the free laundry.

i don't miss solicitors, slow internet connection, mochas [during and after employment], traffic, walled lake central, animal hair all over, unscented laundry detergent, vicious chaldeans [no offense], high school drama, minute music, or mrs. rashid.

i'm glad i'm here, but constantly wishing i were somewhere else. does that make sense?

they love that crap in malaysia

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 03:57:41 GMT

the euchre tournament went as follows

first round: partners don't show-- move to next round by default.
second round: this is pretty much what went on with our opposing homosexual male team.

male #1: pick it up/i'll call it [insert suit here]
derrick: you're out of your element.
male #2: nice job partner.
me: i am the walrus.
male #1: oh. we got all five tricks. two points.
me: i had a shitty hand.
derrick: yeah me too.

and that was it.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 05:08:11 GMT

"hello my most beautiful and precious flower... it is currently roughly 16 hours and 30 before i get to talk to you again."

i love him. haha. flower...

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 01:57:52 GMT

so peach and i just went bowling at the SAC... drunk. it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
p.s. i scored over 100 for the first time in my whole life... it was a 104, and it was beautiful.

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 21:26:15 GMT

so this weekend was the bomb digity. or it would have been, if that word were still cool. but its not. so this weekend was just good.
i just realized i dont have anything else to say.
my uncles wedding is this weekend.
im going to freeze to death.

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 02:24:19 GMT

i wonder if these words exist.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 19:46:35 GMT

poor peach is ill. this is not good for the team.

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 14:27:16 GMT

last night was a good night. even though i lost some of my money, and some of derricks money, it was still fun.
casino+porn shop+derrick+the parking lot+the big lebowski= fun.
only i got really tired before we could watch the whole movie, and started falling asleep on the couch. oops.

i've developed a strange obsession with this small font thing. but i'm ok with that.

so some things are pretty messed up now... other things are really great, and then theres the things that are at the akward inbetween state. like being 13. you're too old to be young, but too young to be old, and then you just end up spending a year in isolation, waiting for the correct body parts to develop.

i guess my being a selfish bitch has finally come back to slap me in the face. (that reminds me of that stupid joke that my brother says all the time, i think its from a movie. "what did the hand say to the face? ...SLAP"-- and he says slap with the weird accent. no, not accent. i guess you could call it a twang. is that a word?) either way, new shit has come to light. im just not sure what it is yet.

time to watch a movie and study.

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 17:14:03 GMT

i'm dizzy from the shopping mall
i searched for joy but i bought it all
.somethings.missing.
and i dont know how to fix it
when autumn comes it doesnt ask
it just walks in where it left you last
from fireworks to fireplaces
summer stole what fall replaces
the nature rain on flames we've made
should tell you everything is not broken,
if everything's not fine.

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 03:47:48 GMT

so when i was outside smoking, realized that the cement wall that everyone sits on to smoke was crooked, and for some strange reason i had a strong urge to tell everyone out there that it was crooked just to see what they would say.
does it matter if the bench you're sitting on is crooked?

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 05:16:49 GMT

so as much as i never thought i would say this-- i should have stayed in fucking mount pleasant. i'm glad i got to see my parents and everything. but my best friend- you know the one, yeah, she lives at my house, name starts with a C and shes gonna read this livejournal, so i can start some fuckin drama, yeah, i've seen her for a grand total of about 2 minutes, if that since i've been home. and i'm being a bitch because i know her and josh got in a fight, and for me to sit here and be pissed because she was hanging out with him when i got home, probably sounds pretty selfish. well i guess thats me because i'm still pissed. and i still think its fucked up the way things went down.
my brother is making me second guess everything i've done in the past 8 months (thanks for that, by the way)
my mom told me she was going to watch a movie with me, i believe her exact words were "i have to go make up some beds, and i'll be right back", so i wait like, 20 minutes, and i start the movie, thinking i'll just restart it for her when she comes down. so 40 minutes into the movie she comes down and says "caitlin and josh set up the tent outside and started a fire, you should come out." well holy fucking christ, if i had only known that caitlin and josh started a fire, i would have understood why my mom made me watch a movie by myself while my boyfriend and fat ass slept. my bad.
so i went to sleep, and i wake up and decide to go out to this fire that everyones so stoked about. and no ones out there anymore, except caitlin and josh in the tent.
i also have to wonder why the FUCK it's ok for her and josh to sleep together outside in a fucking tent when i cant even sleep in the same fucking room as my boyfriend. so i ask my mother, "why the hell to caitlin and josh get to sleep in a tent together?" and she says "well, i asked your dad." and then she goes to bed. real fucking cool. i guess since shes not their daughter it makes it ok for them to "facilitate sex", as opposed to nick and i, who were of course planning on fucking on the couch with jason in the chair next to us.
i am now entering panis-attack mode. i think i'm going for a drive.

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 03:55:11 GMT

so today has been kind of strange.
today ashley and i went and got tattoos (my second, her first) which was WAY sweet.
so i call my brother to tell him, and he bitches me out for skipping a class. so then i get upset, and the tattooing experience wasn't nearly as cool as it should have been.
however, i got home, talked to nicholas, and he made me feel better. and then i talked to my dad, and he made me feel great. so i was back to being a happy camper.
but i still cant believe he said all that stuff. what a hypocrite.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 02:45:12 GMT

today is a good day. it's my dads birthday, and to make it things even better, ASHLEY ELAINE came out to the lovely mount pleasant tonight!

i saw fight club (most of it-to be continued later) today, thanks to peach :0) AND the primere of the bachelor is on as we speak.

today was a good day.

but i feel like i'm stuck in the middle of something i don't want to be stuck in the middle of. this is everything i was afraid of. i can not choose between you and my family, and i know how horrible that sounds, but i can't do it. it's not that i wouldn't choose my family in a second, because obviously i'm not that incredibly selfish, but i hate having to sleep in the same room as him and not be able to sleep next to him. thats the only reason im not coming home on friday. and i didnt think it would be a big deal, and it probably isn't, but i still feel like everyone is mad at me, or dissappointed in me or something. i don't know. i feel like a bad daughter.

but i'm had a good day. i'm having a good night, and i'm hanging out with derrick and ashley.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 22:46:00 GMT

so to those of you who read this during the time period where the really sucky animated icon i made was here, i appologize. ive kinda got the idea now of what to do to make them and not have them suck horribly. so now i have the new one i just made, and i'm way stoked about it.

i'm hungry.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 19:37:57 GMT

i made my first animated icon!! and it sucks!! but i love it!

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 15:48:25 GMT

i love talking to you in the middle of the day.